The Mirror Lies

First of all, I'm excited to announce that I've been awarded top prize in the contest for World's Worst Blogger.  Okay, so it's not official, but I do realize I've been absent for a very long time.

The truth is that I had a really difficult year and gained back a lot of my weight, got depressed about it, came out of my funk and got back on track, then got back off track, blah-blah-blah.  So here I am again, after a weigh-in today that reinforced my need to get back on track.

I do have happy news though.  My friend Mandy (I've mentioned her before) reached her LIFETIME goal at Weight Watchers today!  Yay, Mandy!  I wish I had known it would  be today, because I had planned to make her a sash and crown for the occasion.  Since I missed it, she'll just have to settle for this sad little substitute. Here you go, Mandy, a crown for your achievement!

Ta-Daaaa!!

I've been thinking about how we let our thinking mess us up so often.  Mandy just returned from the beach, and she mentioned that even though she was at goal weight and thinner and healthier than she has been in a very long time, she still looked in the mirror and saw a fat girl in a bathing suit looking back at her.  (I might add that when I saw her at the meeting today, I immediately noticed how thin she looked.)  We discussed this quite a bit in our meeting, and as expected, most of us confessed to feeling this way even when, in reality, we're looking our best.

I thought of that discussion when I saw this:

Source: http://themetapicture.com/page/42/

How true is that!?  I wonder why it's sometimes so hard for us to see the reality of our achievements rather than the  tiny so-called flaws that make us human.  My hope is that I will be able to look at myself in the mirror and see someone who can do this, once and for all, realizing that goal weight is not the end by any means.  I think that accepting my looks - good and bad - is a large part of loving and accepting myself as a whole, even if I'm nowhere near my healthy weight.  And my hope is the same for all of us, that we can see our own beauty without comparing ourselves to the images of perfection that are impossible to attain, whether we're at our best size or not.

Weekly Weigh-In

Thursday's weigh-in was good.  I'm down 2 pounds!

While the last couple of weigh-ins were good, and it seems like I should really be well on my way to goal, let me just clear this up.  I'm pretty much where I was two months ago.  Grrrr!   It's my own fault for letting the change in Weight Watchers throw me off.  I was up and down and steady for those two months.

Rather than staying the course and sucking it up and just working the program, I just coasted along through the holidays and beyond.  For the most part, I tried not to go crazy, but I wasn't really doing anything specific.  And I GAINED weight.

While I love with the idea of intuitive eating, the truth is that I'm so far from that point right now.  I'm still pretty much a newbie.  Lack of structure in this quest for me, right now, is the way for me to fail.  So I gained weight.

But the good news is that I'm back to where I was when I got my 25-pound mark a couple of months ago.  And, yes, I'm ready to dig into that "virgin fat" and start shaving that off now.

Oh, and by the way, for anyone else who's in my position with the WW thing and being reluctant to try the new plan...Just do it!  Once you start, you'll realize how similar it really is to the old plan, and even better really, because I am not eating as much processed foods.  I'm buying (and eating) more fruits and vegetables than ever before.

I'm back in!  And I WILL have another loss at my next weigh-in on Thursday!

Weight Watchers New Program

So as any of you who are doing Weight Watchers already knows, they've gone and changed up the whole system!

A Point is no longer the same unit it was before.  Fruits are free!  You get a higher number of points, but most foods now have a higher point value.  I feel like it probably all evens out, and that it does encourage you to eat more natural and nutritious foods, but it's different for sure.  I have certainly been getting in more produce than before, so that's a good thing.

My meeting is tomorrow, but I think I might wind up not weighing in.  It's kind of a silly reason, but here it is:  I have a Christmas Brunch to attend in the morning.  It's to benefit my little friend Katie, who is in the hospital with cancer right now.  I'm not planning to go wild and eat my weight in pastries or anything like that, but I do plan to participate and enjoy a sampling of what my friends have made for us.  Now, I wouldn't even blink at that if it were, say, tonight.  But I normally don't eat or drink anything at all until after I weigh, so I'm thinking that could affect my weigh-in.  I find that it does make a difference if I have even just a cup of coffee, and I don't want to get discouraged after my first week on the new plan.

I will go to the meeting, though.  I really want to hear what people are saying about it and hear what the leader has to say, as well as to see how the scales are treating everyone.  I will weigh at home on my scales, as usual, but I never count it until it's official at the meeting.

A few days ago my friend Mandy wanted to walk a winding and hilly road here called Holdsworth Drive.  It's really scenic and has nice sidewalks the entire length of it.  It's also just over a 5K if you go all the way down and back.  We started out, but then she started having trouble with her knee, so we had to go to the high school track and walk for an hour there instead, on that flat and level surface.  Before you accuse her of chickening out, let me assure you that she often walks it with no trouble and that it was her idea.  Don't worry though, it's coming!  I'm going  to blaze that trail!

Hope you're all enjoying this busy season and not getting too stressed out about it.  So far, so good here!

Weekly Weigh-In and Hot 100 Update

Today was a good weigh-in day.

First off, my WW buddy got her second 5-pound sticker PLUS her super-duper 5%!  Way to go!  I'm realizing how much better it is attending with somebody who is also really committed to this.  Celebrating each of these pounds and fractions of pounds that comes off just makes me want to keep going and not give up.

Then after she got her sticker prizes, I scored this little beauty...

Another 5-pound star!

As well as this!

10% Keychain!

I'm now down a total of 22.4 pounds.  Just 47.6 more to go before I hit my Weight Watchers goal!  I realize that sounds like a lot (and it is), but I'm almost a third of the way there.  Not too shabby!

How about a Hot 100 update?  You got it!

1.  Lose 15-plus pounds by the end of the year / end of the challenge.  I'm down 7.4 pounds from the start of the Hot 100.  This means I'm about halfway to my goal of losing an extra 15 during this challenge.

2.  Get more sleep.  It's always a struggle, but I'm still doing better.  Not perfect by any means.  Last night I actually turned off the light and went to bed right when I felt a little sleepy.  My husband wasn't even in bed yet, and I rarely do that.  I'm like a big heat-seeking lizard or something.  Need my warm fella to curl up next to.

3.  Start taking vitamins.  I was just about to go off on how amazing I am at #3 on my list, when I realized that for the first time I forgot to take my supplements today!  Well, other than today, I've got this one in the bag!

4.  Make a plan for eating and exercising over the holidays and stick to it.  Still have not purchased Halloween candy for the trick-or-treaters.  After this week's binge on candy corn, I realize I cannot be trusted with any kind of candy products of any form.  In fact, I'm a little concerned I might start wolfing down those spider rings I bought for trick-or-treaters if I'm not careful.  No, they're not SUPPOSED to be edible, but you should have seen me going after that candy corn!

Be good, and do good, my friends!

Weekly Weigh-In

I'm on my way to a birthday lunch for a friend, so I will miss my official Weight Watchers weigh-in today.  I knew all week I wouldn't make it to my meeting today.  I could have slacked off and done some sneaky eating this week, hoping to make up for it by the next weigh-in.  But did I do that?  Hell no, people!  I didn't want to lose my momentum this week just for some curly fries.  I weighed at home, but I don't officially count it until I weigh at the meeting.  However, my home scale showed -1.8 for the week.  Not too bad.  I didn't work out as much as I could have, so that's my goal for this coming week.

P90X, by the way, is not as scary as you might think.  Yesterday we did the workout for arms, as well as the Ab Ripper X.  Okay, the Ab Ripper is pretty brutal, and my arms are really sore today, but you do what you can.  I'm going to be a total badass with some major brute strength when I'm done.  Or at the very least I will be able to do regular push-ups and not the girly kind.

My post just before this included a recipe for Taco Soup.  Some of you expressed concern about the dry ranch dressing mix.  I promise you it won't wreck it, and it won't taste like dressing.  It just thickens it up a little and gives it some extra oomph.  When you see how much this recipe makes, you'll notice that the mix is a very small percentage of the whole.  So sprinkle that dry mix without a care in the world!  Trust your Auntie Char.

Oh, and in case you're wondering and decide to chastise me about not attending another meeting this week, here's the deal.  My little town offers only 3 meetings per week.  One of those is in the evenings when my kids are out of school and husband is still at work.  I am NOT taking those little monkeys to the meeting with me.  But my reason for not going to the other remaining option is based purely upon my narcissistic need for attention -- I'm expecting to get my 20-pound star, and I want my regular group to clap for me.  See, I'm not too proud to admit my true motives.

Hot 100 update coming soon!

Weekly Weigh-In and Hot 100 Update

Weigh-In:

Well, my weight loss has slowed considerably, with 0.8 lost again for this week.  It's okay, but I'm going to have to lose just over a pound a week to meet my goal of 15 additional pounds lost by the end of the challenge.

I'm now down a total of 16.6 total.  It's still too soon to tell by looking at me that I've lost any weight, but I'll get there!

Hot 100:

Speaking of the Hot 100 Challenge, here's my update for this week:

1.  Lose 15-plus pounds by the end of the year / end of the challenge.  Despite a mild start, I'm still heading in the right direction with 13.4 pounds to lose by the end of the year.

2.  Get more sleep.  Still failing miserably.  I need to get a grip on my time management in order to make this happen, so I'm not scrambling around at night trying to finish everything up.

3.  Start taking vitamins.  I'm rocking this one!  By the way, I enjoyed everyone's comments about the Horny Goat Weed from my last update.  Still not sure what it really is intended for.

4.  Make a plan for eating and exercising over the holidays and stick to it.  This one is still several weeks off, but I'm already mentally rehearsing for it.

Book Club:

Last night was my monthly book club meeting.  It is one of my favorite activities ever.  In case anyone is interested, we'll be discussing The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton at our next meeting.

We always start with drinks and appetizers, followed by salad and main course, plus dessert.  I passed on the sangria, which looked and smelled delicious, and I ate one Triscuit but none of the cheeses or meats on the appetizer tray.  

Then we had a nice green salad (dressing on the side).  My friend Wendy hosted last night, and bless her heart, she made a very healthy soup for the main meal.  Big chunks of veggies and chicken in a clear broth with nice spices.  Yum!  By the way, Wendy is my "tiny friend" I referred to in my post about the Chocolate Lounge.  Don't hate her for being thin - she really is one of the sweetest people I know.  She also served her world-famous artichoke bread, and I had one small piece of that.  

Then came dessert.  It was a lovely thick pound cake with berries and whipped cream.

Book Club Dessert

I had my dessert, but without the cake.  Still yummy!

My Version of the Dessert

Have a wonderful weekend!

Weekly Weigh-In

Nope, I'm not seeing stars today.  That's okay, because that would have required a five-pound loss this week.  It wasn't great - a loss of 0.8 lb, for a total of 15.8 pounds lost.  I did some experimenting with my Points this week.  The last few weeks, I was eating under my daily allowance of Points (bad girl!), and having zero weekly points and zero activity points.  Then this week I decided to try having all of my daily points (duh), and I had zero activity points, and a total of less than 10 weekly points (for the party at the Chocolate Lounge).  I'm going to try it this week too, and just see what happens.  If I gain or don't have a better loss, I might need to adjust it again.  We'll see.

There was some excitement and inspiration at my Weight Watchers meeting today.  First off, our sweet leader Debby just received a Diamond Leader award.  There are tons of criteria to meet in order to get this award, and it's a big deal.  Yay!  Then one member reached her goal with a loss of 45 pounds, and another woman reached Lifetime status with a loss of about 30 pounds.  It kind of pumped me up and made me imagine myself up there at goal/lifetime, with everyone clapping to my success.

The meeting topic was about going to the grocery store (or supermarket, as some of you probably say).  Perspiration vs. Inspiration - What stresses you about shopping for food and what makes you feel excited about shopping for food?

The usual stresses were things like kids/spouse, temptations, cost, and time.

The inspiration was a discussion on how to overcome those issues.  There were tips on shopping for groceries too:

- Shop the perimeter of the store.  This is where the fresh items are kept, like milk and yogurt, meat and seafood, fresh vegetables and fruits, etc.  Fewer of the processed foods are located in this area around along the walls.

- Don't shop hungry or thirsty.  This is one we've all probably heard before.  If it's not possible to eat before heading to the store, chew a piece of gum while there to help avoid food cravings that might lead to purchases (and binges) you'll regret later.

- Make a list, take it with you, and stick to it.  This will help you get through the store faster and will also prevent impulse buys.  Remember to take the list with you!

- Plan menus in advance so you will know what to buy.  Then put the ingredients on the list.

- Shop alone if possible.  This way anyone with you won't be able to toss unhealthy items in the cart or whine mercilessly until you give in on the junk food.

- Arrange your shopping list by category.  Our leader gave us a web address for a site where you can do this (www.grocerylistmaker.com).  You click items from your list, which are arranged by areas of the store where each item should be located.  This will save time so you don't have to double back for an item buried in the bottom of the list that you missed while you were on the other side of the store.

Happy shopping!

Weekly Weigh-In and New Challenge

The weekly weigh-in was good.  I lost 2.6 pounds for a total of exactly 15 lost.  It's good, but I was sooo careful all week and had hoped for a little more.  But no complaints, because I got another star!  Check it out:

So pretty!

I walked last night for 35 minutes, and tonight I did about 45 minutes, thanks in great part to my WW friend who is really into walking and puts up with my slow stride as I'm building up my speed.  I didn't sling too much sweat on her, I guess, because she mentioned walking with me again in the future.

And today, just by chance, I came across this little item:

What is the Hot 100, you ask?  Well, as of today there are 100 days left in 2010.  Hard to believe, right? I didn't count them up, but I'm just going to take this guy's word for it.  South Beach Steve at logmyloss.com has set up this challenge.  There are some prizes, if that motivates you to participate.  And it's not too late!  He's extended the deadline to start to October 1, so get moving!  Also, you don't even have to have a blog to take part in this.  You can post your goals in his comment section.  The rules are all there if you click here.

One of the requirements is that you post some goals.  I'd participate in this even if there were no prizes, because I like this idea.  So here are my goals for this challenge:

1.  Lose 15-plus pounds by the end of the year / end of the challenge.  I will modify this number if I reach it before the end of this time period.
2.  Get more sleep.  This will make exercise more appealing, because I won't be so sleepy all the time.
3.  Start taking vitamins.  Yes, I know I should have already been doing this, but I have never been good about it and haven't been doing it yet.  Know of any good ones out there?  I could use a suggestion for a multi-vitamin.
4.  Make a plan for eating and exercising over the holidays and stick to it.  This might mean I plan for a splurge, or it might mean I take a veggie tray to a party.  Whatever it is, I don't want to lose control over the holidays.  This challenge should help me to stay mindful of that as I celebrate.

I really hope you'll consider doing this challenge with me.  I'm excited about this.  It's my very first challenge of this type, and I am determined to see it through.

Weekly Weigh-In

Today I went back to my Weight Watchers group.  I hadn't been to a meeting since June, but I'm going to use my weight from then because I left off not far from where my weight is now.  It will just be easier for me to keep track of it that way.

So from last week, I lost another 3.8 pounds.  For my Weight Watchers log, I am down a total of 12.4 pounds from when I started in May at my all-time highest weight.  Today I got a 5-pound sticker and my first 5% star.

I'm feeling pretty good about that!  

Today's meeting topic was about appreciating the smaller losses.  If you lose less than a pound, there's the temptation to say, "I ONLY lost 0.4 pounds," (or 0.2 or 0.8, whatever).  

But really, think about this:  

If you lose 0.2 lbs. every week for a year, that equals 10.4 lbs. in a year;

If you lose 0.4 lbs. every week for a year, you've lost 20.8 lbs. in a year; 

If you lose 0.6 lbs. every week for a year, you've lost 31.2 lbs. in a year;

If you lose 0.9 lbs. every week for a year, you've lost 41.6 lbs. in a year;

If you lose 1.0 lb. every week, you have lost a whopping 52 pounds in a year!

A loss is a loss!  They add up.  On the flip side, I should remind myself that those add up in the gaining column as well.  Sometimes I gain a pound or two, and I think, "Oh, no big deal.  Just two pounds."  But then I do it repeatedly, and what do ya' know, I've got a weight problem.  

I'm aware of the problem, and I can and will manage it.  I really feel excited about this commitment to lose weight this time.  I don't always enjoy it, like when I'm craving something I know will trigger a binge, for example, but I am excited about the possibility and the power that are within me.

I'm also excited about the discovery of using a blog as a weight-loss tool.  I am amazed by the support I've already been getting from the blogging community, and most notably a couple of veteran bloggers who are successfully losing and maintaining weight losses of their own.  I am so grateful for that!  And for anyone reading this who would like to comment on my posts, I welcome and encourage that.  

Another little bonus at today's meeting is that I had a friend join me.  It's nice to have someone you can trust and just talk about some of your struggles.  Here's a snippet of our conversation in the parking lot after the meeting:

Me: "You know, if you've never had a weight problem, you might say things like, 'I could have eaten that whole box of cookies.'  But you don't really mean it."

Her: "Yeah, like they just mean it would be tempting to eat the whole box."

Me: "But I'll bet a lot of them haven't actually tested the theory like I have, and PROVEN that I can do it."

Her: "Right on, sista!"

So here's to celebrating the small victories, whatever they might be, because they truly do add up!

The Next Step

Now I need to decide how to attack the weight issue.

I've had success with Weight Watchers in the past.  I've also had tremendous success with diet pills, but I'm not going to go that route this time.  I always wind up gaining the weight back (and then some), plus I don't want to mess around with this high blood pressure.

I think I will track my food intake starting tomorrow, and go to a WW meeting the next one that opens up.  (I live in a small town, and we don't have a lot of days/times to choose from.)

I am ready to take the next step toward a healthier me!