Alien Abduction

Despite rumors to the contrary, I am, in fact, still alive.  It's been quite an adventure.  Here's what happened.

WARNING: GRAPHIC AND POTENTIALLY DISTURBING IMAGES TO FOLLOW!

Last spring, after enjoying an evening session of heart-pounding Zumba for Senior Citizens, I toweled off and headed for the parking lot.  I noticed strange lights in the sky far away.  I stood around watching for awhile, as everyone else from the class left the lot.

Suddenly, the lights zipped over my head, and I realized it was some kind of spacecraft.  Terrified, I did what any suburban mom would do -- I ran for the safety of my SUV.

Unfortunately, I didn't make it.  The craft's lights flashed and brightened to a blinding degree.  The next thing I knew, I was being lifted into the ship.

While I'm happy to say I was NOT probed in the way you might expect (ick), I WAS injected with fat cells via inordinate amounts of delicious junk-food.  It was, as you might imagine, a harrowing experience.

Anyway, after several months of studying me for alien science (Weights and Measures Division), those creatures finally released me back to my natural habitat.

The good news is that I was left relatively unharmed; the bad news is that I was left with this alien-induced extra weight.  Not to mention that I'm constantly being trailed by Men In Black these days.

Just remember, readers.... "The Truth is Out There."

Confessions of a (Non) Stick Figure

Yes, my friends, I'm still here!  I've just been struggling the last couple of weeks.  Initially it really worried me.  I started to doubt my ability to follow through on making changes for a healthier and, yes, thinner me. I started to wonder if I could actually ever get to the point where this would be my lifestyle and not just a diet.  I began to doubt myself.

Now, don't get me wrong -- I realize this has been yet another setback, and I don't like it.  However, I also realize that I'm fighting it out with life-long habits I've developed that did me no good yet still had a powerful hold on me.  And sometimes they still do have a hold on me.

I missed my weigh-in last week.  I was busy, but I could have made it if I'd really wanted to.  So tomorrow I will go to my Weight Watchers meeting and take my lumps like a grown-up.  I will do a better job planning, and I'll stop at the grocery store to make sure I'm all stocked up with healthy and easy options to go to.

It won't be pretty, folks, I promise you that.  But I'll report it honestly, and then I will get busy doing what I have to do to wrestle with my issues so that I can give myself what I deserve.

Now, that being said, I would like to add that it wasn't all bad.  I tried Zumba!  To give you the full effect of how that went, I'm whipping out my awe-inspiring artistic skills.  Now, before you wanna-be artists ask, I can't tell you my secrets to creating perfect form like this.  It's just a gift.  You're either born with it or you're not.  Aaaaaand, apparently I'm not.

I now present "Stick Figure's Fitness Adventures."

First of all, the Zumba class was held in a shopping center, and the building was windows upon windows, to give any passers-by a nice view of the Zumba gyrations.

Despite realizing I was the biggest one there (you know you always check for that too), I was glad to see that everyone was pretty much in my age range, about 35-45 years old.  Onward we go!  I realized immediately my lack of coordination, but I didn't let that stop me.  I just kept moving, pausing to apologize now and then to anyone I might have bumped into.

Wobbly legs?  Check.
Sweating buckets?  Check.
Out of breath?  Check.

But I did it!  I didn't stop once, and I felt like I'd really gotten a great workout and accomplished something new!

We were done, and the Zumba instructor pipes up with this little gem.  She says, "You know, actually, this Zumba routine was originally designed for senior citizens."

(The Devil's Skinny Sister)

That's just fabulous news!  (Read: sarcasm)

It was still a fun experience, despite feeling a little like a doofus for thinking that the old-lady routine was challenging.  In fact, I might go again tomorrow night!