Monday, December 5, 2011

Alien Abduction

Despite rumors to the contrary, I am, in fact, still alive.  It's been quite an adventure.  Here's what happened.


Last spring, after enjoying an evening session of heart-pounding Zumba for Senior Citizens, I toweled off and headed for the parking lot.  I noticed strange lights in the sky far away.  I stood around watching for awhile, as everyone else from the class left the lot.

Suddenly, the lights zipped over my head, and I realized it was some kind of spacecraft.  Terrified, I did what any suburban mom would do -- I ran for the safety of my SUV.

Unfortunately, I didn't make it.  The craft's lights flashed and brightened to a blinding degree.  The next thing I knew, I was being lifted into the ship.

While I'm happy to say I was NOT probed in the way you might expect (ick), I WAS injected with fat cells via inordinate amounts of delicious junk-food.  It was, as you might imagine, a harrowing experience.

Anyway, after several months of studying me for alien science (Weights and Measures Division), those creatures finally released me back to my natural habitat.

The good news is that I was left relatively unharmed; the bad news is that I was left with this alien-induced extra weight.  Not to mention that I'm constantly being trailed by Men In Black these days.

Just remember, readers.... "The Truth is Out There."


  1. AHAHAHAHA! Brilliant. Funny I had a fantasy last night about being abducted by aliens who would use their futuristic brilliance and medical advances to use their special laser that actually works, to painlessly zap out my fat. Then the rest of my fantasy involved how I would communicate my thin wish to the scary aliens to begin with...yes I think we both need help. ;-)

  2. Pure brilliance, woman. Brilliance!